Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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