I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
