I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
