We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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