just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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