This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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