why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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