scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
