I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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