At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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