my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize