1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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