whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
