id be glad to
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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