ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
50% drunk capacity currently
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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