Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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