That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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