I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize