my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
