I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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