I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
