How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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