after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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