I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize