No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
