He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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