Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
ttyl tear gas
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
