I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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