I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
