Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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