I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I looked at my own cervix.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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