That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
