i just had sex bonerless
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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