just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
