i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
