when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
