I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
