I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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