Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
