Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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