i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
zippers are such a cool invention
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
