I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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