no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
