I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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