He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
