just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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