But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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