And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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