No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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