Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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