apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
