spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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