I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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