so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
