Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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