i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
