I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
