U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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