it was like eating out sand paper
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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