I'm going to jail i love you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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