Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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