thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
