he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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