Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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