This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
