Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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