i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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