So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
