dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
