By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
