i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize