You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
